


Different Kinds of Love

by You_Are_Constance



Category: The Clockmaker's Daughter - Webborn/Finn
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Aspec Will, Constance is there a lot but i never even wrote her name, F/M, Will finding out that there's a lot of different kinds of love, and it's okay that he doesn't like all of them, basically will finding out that he's aspec, but they're both aspec if we want to get into it, emotions are hard okay, fun fact: that was actually my first title, i read Love's Vocabulary in English class and this was born, it focuses a lot on will and his own feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28995345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_Are_Constance/pseuds/You_Are_Constance
Summary: Figuring out who you are is a difficult thing, especially when everything you thought you knew changes within a fraction of a second.
Relationships: William Riley/Constance Reed
Kudos: 1





	Different Kinds of Love

**Author's Note:**

> as i said in the tags, my English class read Love's Vocabulary by Diane Ackerman and I started thinking about this. I've always thought of Will and Constance as ace (i make all my fave characters ace, soo), and i kind of wanted to explore that. as the story (essay?) said, love is a complicated thing, just because we pack so much into a single word. that's not such a bad thing, because it makes a truly wonderful word, but problems come out when we think of love as a single thing, when it really isn't. 
> 
> i hope that made sense and i hope you like the fic

The first time they touch, Will is confused.

He knew she was beautiful. He’d always been able to see beauty. This wasn’t just seeing beauty. This was something else. Something… more.

His heart is pounding and he has a strange, giddy feeling. He feels as if he could run to the ends of the Earth and not even begin to feel tired. He feels like he would do that, for her.

Will wants to protest. He’s fine the way he is. He doesn’t need ‘love’ or whatever this new feeling is. Frankly, he’s not interested.

This new girl is ruining ever that Will thought he knew, all along.

And he can’t entirely bring himself to hate it.

Will knows that he wants to get to know her. He wants to be close to her. Logically, he wants friendship. It’s been something that he’d wanted since he was a child, a close friend.

Unfortunately, his heart seems to want that, and more.

He decided long ago that he wasn’t interested. How could this person, this new girl change something he’s been so set on for years?

He figures that he must be misreading his emotions. He couldn’t be wanting this. It was impossible. He just wanted friendship. That was it.

Will slowly started to accept what he was feeling. He refused to fully believe the truth behind it, but at least he was getting used to it.

Then suddenly he finds himself beginning to tell her what he’s feeling, and he can no longer deny it.

He loves her, but… not in the way that others talk about. Or maybe it is like what they say. He’s not sure what to think. Nothing made sense anymore.

She leaves before he can say, and he wondered if that might be a good thing.

He could have been making a grave mistake by telling her how he felt when he wasn’t even sure of it himself.

He is certain that he feels _something_ for her, but he isn’t exactly sure what that is.

He doubts himself even further that night, when he finds out who—what she is.

He doubts not only himself, but her. He doesn’t want to doubt himself, and he wants to doubt her even less, but she was _lying_ to him. The whole time. How did he know that anything she said was true?

Will can’t be sure of anything, and yet—with a bit of help—he still finds that his heart hasn’t changed.

Circumstances have changed, but his heart is the same.

And he can’t keep himself from running, telling her, and taking his chance to run away with her.

Unfortunately, he made a stop along the way.

He hardly felt the pain in his side as he ran to her and finally, _finally_ told her how he felt.

And then everything stopped.

He was too late.

Will had a lot of time to think over everything. Everything he knew, he said, he felt. He had more time than he’d ever imagined to think about that.

He regrets a lot of things, ever doubting her was by far the top of the list, stopping on his way to run away with her was another.

But he _never_ regretted telling her that he loved her.

At the time, and even now, he wasn’t really sure what ‘love’ meant. He heard stories, heard people talking about how much they ‘love’ this or that, or about how they ‘fell in love,’ and as entertaining as those stories may be, they don’t really make sense to him. Why is a single word such as ‘love’ used to describe so many different feelings?

Maybe what he’s feeling isn’t love; maybe it’s something else, something similar, but not quite the same, but there isn’t a word for a feeling just a little bit to the left. He has to use the word that fits it closest, and ‘love’ is that word.

Maybe the word ‘love’ is just so enormous that Will can’t comprehend the entirety of what it means.

And maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe the only bad thing is the belief that there is only one kind of love, and anything else isn’t just as sweet or fulfilling.

When they first kiss, Will is no longer confused.

It took years, decades, for this to happen, for them to be reunited, for Will to finally be able to hold her in his arms, and for Will to finally realize what it is he meant all along.

Maybe… maybe there are different kinds of love.

Will loves her, he’s never been more certain of anything in his—very long and extended—life. He loves her, but not in all the ways that people talk about. Not… not the lustful kind of love, just… just the sweet and soft kinds. The kinds where he can hold her, kiss her, and shower her with affection.

Love is complicated, he knows that now. It’s not as clear-cut as people make it out to be.

Yes. There are different kinds of love.

And each of them is perfect the way they are.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, comments give me life, but please don't swear!


End file.
